Older Adoptees Managing Money

Written by on 1 March, 2014 in Adoption with 0 Comments
Finances

Money management.

Sometimes it’s just fun to reminisce about the early days with our children.  I began giving Alex an allowance when he first got home with us from Ukraine at eleven years old, and since he couldn’t speak any English I couldn’t explain what an allowance was all about.  It wasn’t a lot of money each week, but we didn’t know what he would do with money.  We discovered quickly that he saved it.  I went to give him his allowance one weekend, and he shook his head no and opened his stuffed full wallet.  There was absolutely no room in it for one more dollar.  I was impressed.

The following year we added Marsha and Kohla to our family, thirteen and fourteen respectively from the same orphanage as Alex, and they too received an allowance.  They seemed to understand it, but what they didn’t understand was that I seldom ever carried any cash with me personally; I carried a credit card.  My husband always had cash on him, but I seldom had more than a few dollars in my wallet at any given time.  It seems that my children had discussed my plight of limited personal funds and decided that pop should be passing out the allowances instead of me.  After all, he had cash, and I only had a little plastic card in my wallet.  They felt sorry for me, so they flat refused to accept any money from me.

In Ukraine, our three children had no exposure to credit cards.  They looked at the cheap looking little card and decided I was in rough financial shape, and they would not burden me further.  However, pop had a wallet full of money he didn’t share with poor pathetic me.  They thought he was selfish.  Oh, my!  It still makes me laugh, the difference ten years later is that they understand what that cheap looking little card can purchase.

But at the time, my husband and I were both dumb founded.  My husband shook his head and snickered, “You’ve got to be kidding me.”  After all, I could be kind of a menace with the card.

If I remember correctly, I gave the allowances to him and he eventually passed them out to the kids.  What my kids didn’t understand is that I intentionally didn’t carry cash, because I knew other teachers who had their wallets stolen, and I didn’t want to be out any more money than necessary.  The cheap looking plastic card could be cancelled and I wouldn’t be out much.

My kids were looking out for me.  They still look out for me.  I love them dearly.  For those of you looking to adopt, seriously consider older children.  I would do it again in a heartbeat.  As a matter of fact, we did.

 

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