Dickson Couple lose 9 year-old; birth father’s rights restored after illegal termination.

Written by on 10 February, 2014 in Adoption with 0 Comments
Agency abuse.

Agency abuse.

“Oh good, Charlie’s wife is here.  Would you get me my pills?”  My mother commands.  She’s having one of those days where she’s confused.  “It’s nice when she’s here.  I like her.”  My mother states diplomatically to herself.

It’s nice to know that my mother thinks I do a responsible job caring for her, and the good news is that I don’t even feel bad about her not knowing who I am.  It reminds me where we’re at in life.

I remember when I was in high school and my mother sat up most of several nights sewing together my velvet majorette uniform; it was lined in satin so it looked reversible.  She’d get a couple of hours sleep, and then she’d get up at 5:30 a.m. and leave for the factory where she put in 8 hours on an assembly line.  Not just everyone would have done that, but she did.

Saturday my granddaughter was here for the day.  My mother was talking to her about when I was a baby. “Did you know that we got your grandma when she was just six days old?”  My granddaughter shook her head no.  “She lived with us for a long time, and now look, I’m living with her.  I would have never thought that.”  My mother just shook her head.

My mother never really bought into the whole adoption thing.  I find that real interesting.  She was never really able to make a full commitment, even though she did things like sewing into the wee hours of the morning.  I also remember her helping me with my 4-H projects and making sure I had everything ready to go in plenty of time for the fair.  She always had one foot inside her biological family’s mess and half a foot inside of my needs, just in case.  I remember her even discussing with me once how much she and my father had decided they would actually do for me.  That floored me, because by then I was an adult making a decent living, probably more than them.

She also couldn’t understand why I wanted to adopt kids myself.  After all, ‘People who can have kids shouldn’t be allowed to adopt.  That’s for people who can’t have kids.”  Those were her words not mine.

Then I look at people like Josh McCaul from Nebraska and Kim and David Hodgin from Tennessee.  Three people fighting over the same 9 year-old girl, Sonya.  Three people with a totally different investment made in the same little girl.  I truly hope these three adults can put their personal needs aside and work out what’s best for Sonya.  Sonya needs them all.  It’s not her fault or Josh McCaul’s fault that they have no relationships.  It’s also not her fault or the Hodgin’s fault that they do.  Someone made a huge mistake ignoring the rights of the birth father; that’s been a long time in coming.  I’m glad to know that child stealing is not acceptable anymore and a court will undo the injustice.  Unfortunately, it causes great pain for the family who did nothing to deserve the grief.  My hope is that both sides can come together to change the system so these types of tragedies are stopped before they start.  No one deserves to lose their family because they’ve made mistakes and land in jail or because their parents have made mistakes.  Likewise, no one deserves to lose their family when they’ve done nothing wrong except learn to love a child not genetically connected to them.

It seems to me that the problem began with an irresponsible babysitter who dumped the child on her parents, and when the child got sick the babysitter’s parents, having been told stories, translated them to a police officer.  Whether the stories were true or false, the father should have been allowed to take his child, and the Nebraska authorities should have managed the situation.   Instead, we have a tragedy of errors.

At this time, my heart goes out to all involved.  I see all three parents as victims here and Sonya the biggest victim of all.  There would have been no happy ending here no matter who would have taken Sonya home.

If you haven’t read the story, you can here:  Dickson couple loses custody of girl after adoption overturned

 

 

For men are not cast off by the Lord forever. Though he brings grief, he will show compassion, so great is his unfailing love. Lamentations 3:31-32 NIV

“Image courtesy of   Clare Bloomfield   / FreeDigitalPhotos.net”.

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