Adopt a Dog – Adopt a Child – Adopt a Highway

Written by on 17 March, 2014 in Adoption with 0 Comments
RubyXmas

R.I.P. Ruby Hummingbird Methvin.

First, I love my dogs.  When I had my 14 year old doxie put down in July of 2013 I cried harder and had a longer recovery time than I did when some adoptive family members passed away.  However, animals and children should not be put in the same category.  The children in the adoption category are already extremely vulnerable, equating them to dogs, cats, and highways do not elevate children, it reduces them to animals.

What got me started on this topic was typing “adoption” into Google, hitting news, and more stories came up about good pet adoptions than children adoptions.  I understand not all adopted people feel that way, which speaks well of your adoption.  However, we weren’t all treated so kindly, and some individuals already see adopted children as animals.  That group needs no encouragement.

I still remember when the term “adoption” became the buzz word for selling normally unappealing items: ugly dolls, mangy mutts, zoo animals, and congressional bills.  Is it any wonder that foster children don’t stack up so well?  What do they have to bring to the table better than those things already described?  Even babies, don’t stay babies.  They grow into teenagers who often behave with the same ugly behaviors of their adopters.

When the “adoption” word caught on as a gimmicky sales pitch, I was extremely aghast at the butt ugly Cabbage Patch Dolls sold complete with adoption papers.  Those dolls represented exactly what many people already viewed as an adopted child: ugly, cheap, and disposable.  Further, these ugly dolls were in need of rescue.  The first time a parent had their child show me their doll and tell me that their family now had something in common with me, I felt sick to the stomach.  However, I smiled and nodded.  There was nothing remotely the same, and within a week, that doll was dumped in the bottom of a stuffed toy box and forgotten, or tossed in the Good Will box for charity.  It had nothing in common with a real adopted child, or maybe it did.

The used doll is either given away, sent to Good Will, or placed as a trophy on a shelf.  The adopted child fairs no better; they too are often given away, which is now called rehoming.  According to an investigative report for NBCNEWS, Kate Snow reveals that the failure rate of international adoptions is similar to the rate at which domestic adoptions fail.   It is estimated by the federal government that there have been almost a quarter of a million international adoptions since 1990.  Domestic adoptions fail at the range from about 10 percent to 25 percent – then almost 25,000 foreign adoptees may no longer be with the parents who brought them to America.  It is currently not illegal to rehome adopted children across statelines.  These children receive no counseling, support, or even have the next set of parents determined for suitability.  There are no safeguards at all.

Reuters checked into adoption and found the Yahoo group Adopting-from-Disruption.  There was at least one child per week advertised.  Yahoo shut down the group.  The question is what has replaced it?  Since there is no legislation to prevent families from rehoming their difficult traumatized internationally adopted children, those children are going somewhere.  We personally had the opportunity to rehome a child several years ago.  The mother was exasperated with the young man, and wanted a place for him to go.  Since he was from Ukraine and we had adopted from Ukraine, mutual friends thought we might be able to help in the situation.  We said that we would gladly meet with the two of them, and that our agency could work out the details if we could handle the situation.  After all, as new parents to this young man we would want the opportunity to seek medical attention, mental health, and educational services.  The state would provide the young man with all of those services in a new family environment.  The mother absolutely refused to meet with us or work through an agency, because she thought it would hinder her ability to adopt a more suitable child later.  I would hope so.  I don’t know what happened to the young man because once the adoptive mother learned we would only work through a licensed agency all meetings were off.

Religious organizations writing laws to make stealing children from their poor families easier need to be held accountable for the tremendous psychological damage it does to a human being.  The child has to live with this unnecessary family termination, rejection, and emotional abuse for their entire life.  Adopted children deserve more than the animal in the pound and certainly better than animal rescues.

After we adopted our three oldest children from Ukraine, we decided to get a dog.  We opted for a rescue.  We quickly learned that it was more difficult to “adopt” a rescue dog than a child.  That is just plain wrong.  Ellen DeGeneres first brought the incident to light on her daytime television show with the adoption of the dog Iggy with the Mutts & Moms agency.  When Ellen discovered that she could no longer care for the dog she gave it to her hairdresser’s children.  Mutts & Moms learned of the action and promptly picked up the dog.  The contract stated if Ellen gave up the dog for any reason it went back to the agency.  How much better would children be if that was part of their contract, and it held up in court.  Children deserve to be treated as human as dogs.

The American people have to quit allowing children to be dehumanized, exploited, and sold.  Legitimate studies need to be done on the long term effects of adoption in the lives of infants and older children, and not studies done by those financially profiting from their sale.  Terminology is important.  The word adoption needs to be maintained strictly for humans.

 

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